Are You Easily Approachable
April 7, 2008
Contrary to popular belief, approachability is not solely based on how short a woman’s skirt is, or how big a guy’s muscles are. Being approachable most certainly isn’t about being easy at all. To be approachable is the ability to welcome strangers into your personal space without taking advantage of you. It’s one thing to flash someone on the street and get everyone’s attention. It’s an entirely different story when people can’t even come up to you for directions, thanks to the huge blank stare on your face.
Aside from the obvious question at hand, it is also crucial to ask yourself whether you’re actually doing something to increase your approachability. At a party, do you usually find yourself sulking in the corner of the room? Do you constantly find it annoying when the woman (or man) seated next to you at the bar is getting more nods and smiles than you are? Sometimes, wallowing in defeat can’t be helped but after getting shut down, you simply must get up and face new possibilities — no matter what the results are.
As with anything remotely connected to the date dance, it is important to remember that it takes two to tango. Being approachable is exactly just that — creating possibilities for connection. You (the “approachee”) have to make other people (the “approachers”) feel comfortable enough to take that step toward you. You can’t possibly expect people to come up to you with you just standing there, doing absolutely nothing. Sure, some people need not do anything much because they’ve got the looks that even Aphrodite can be envious of. But looks aren’t enough; there has to be more than the physical factor to actually lure people and keep them interested.
There is no better invitation than a friendly smile or a casual nod. Although winking and licking your lips can get a lot of attention, you might just attract the wrong crowd. Start with the basics: find your target, lock eyes for a brief moment, and give a coy smile. These things are bound to leave people interested and hungry for more.
Before hitting the bar or a party, you might want to ponder on your latest reads, perhaps even a funny joke you just heard, or an inspirational movie you just saw — these would definitely start off conversation easily, and you’ll find that people actually stick around long after “the approach.” Establishing common points of interest early in the conversation and sporadically all through out will definitely keep your conversation flowing. When they leave you to go to the bathroom or to speak to someone else, you will still have a lasting impression on the “approacher.” He or she might even think back to your conversation and realize that they want to hear more.
Last but not the least, you must let go of all your fears. Rejection and indifference are just as real as the excitement of being noticed and adored. Face it, you can’t possibly make a connection with every single person on this Earth. It’s not even about numbers; making a connection with just one person after the approach is way better than countless shallow flirtations. Who would want to flirt in their death beds anyway?
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